Four of Seven Things

My sister tagged me for this ‘Seven Things’ activity where you tell 7 things about you then tag seven people who then do seven things themselves and pass it on and so on. I am going to do seven things, albeit in two installations, but then spare the further tagging. I have 5.5 friends, and if you are one of them, you will appreciate that I did not want to jeopardize that standing with a tag. But if you feel so inclined – please complete your own and let me know. So here is the first 4 of my seven things.

1. I’m Colour Blind. But have got through life quite well I feel.
In my young life it meant leaving all the red pegs on the lawn and ridiculed for having finished of my finest work of Grade 5 cartography with meticulous colouring and shading work for the ocean in purple and the land in orange. Oh, and when I was sent to school by my mother in a new matching shorts and t-shirt outfit (Grade 6! Who makes their child wear a matching outfit at ANY age??), my teacher commented “My aren’t we pretty in pink today?!”. It was news to me. My mother is not colourblind – she is mean.

As I grew up it meant that after studying and training to fulfil my dream to become a cab driver – I failed the fitness test. Colourblind = Unfit. I went to a speacialist who put me through a series of tests – which I nailed… but at the end he told me that I was as colourblind as colourblind gets. I still don’t believe him.
It also meant that I had to bluff my way through two years of my tenure as a self-employed graphic designer. I did find myself in a few interesting binds. One of the notable ones was a turf grower who asked of the logo that I had just designed for him and emailed for approval, “Why is the grass baby turd brown?”. He is now aware that when you convert a vector files to an jpeg image, it sometimes plays with the colours.

What it has ALWAYS meant that when folk find out you are colourblind you are subjected to a 5 minutes of “So what colour is this to you? What colour is this? So what colour do you think the sky is? And what colour is this? And this?
Truth is, I am actually pretty good at this, because I can see colour. I really can. And get most of them right. So my G’ma tells me that I am actually just “Colourmistaken”.

2. I can’t stand Marcia Hindes. “Darl’n. Darl’n. Darl’n. Darl’n. Bless y’ ,Darl’n. You like a sweet, sweet angel. And I love that song, it’s so very dear to me. And Sweet Child, you touched my heart. You go girlfriend! Uh-uh.” How could you dislike that woman??? Let me count the ways. In fact, I would rather spend a day locked in a room wallpapered entirely with Family Circus cartoons with Rosanne Arnold, than have a lunch with Marcia.

3. I am a devout advocate for Tea Tree Oil – primarily as a never-fail cure and prevent sore throats an other mouth infections*. I have not had a sore throat for over 5 years. It’s antiseptic AND anesthetic! Cure AND Instant Relief!
Put five drops of Tea Tree Oil in a cup – add 10 parts water. Gargle – don’t swallow or you will die. If symptoms persist, do it again in an hour. And again. Forget your doctor.

And now that you know, don’t complain to me about your sore throat. Not only do I not care – I think you are an IDIOT. And never say, ‘it tastes nasty’. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

4. My first car, a Citroen GS, green, with panels told the story of 16 individual traffic incidents from days past, cost me $450 with 6 months of rego included ($250 worth). Replaced a lower control arm ($30) and an oil pump o-ring ($5). Drove it for 18 months – flatout – then wrote it off in spectacular fashion (priceless). Removed the engine and gearbox and sold them to dad ($500), who sold them both within a fortnight ($1100).

More to come. 5,6 and 7 to be precise.