5. Things I've eaten... hmmm, perhaps we shouldn't do this. But I will. I've been known to eat pretty much anything. It all started when I was about four. When you only eat one lolly a week, and it's a dried plum Chinese Haw Flake, you find that dried bird droppings on the verandah rail have quite a sweetness to them (the wet ones are just gross - don't do it.
A few years later, after an unchaperoned appearance at a birthday party in grade one, I was vomiting up my food from overconsumption when I noticed a whole frankfurt. In my enthusiasm I hadn't even realised I'd swallowed a whole one. What a trick!
Quite some years later (I was 26) I bought a bag of Oysters in Nambucca Heads. I like Oysters a lot. Much too much in fact to let the fact that I had left them behind the seat of my car in summer for 5 days deter me. The handy thing was that in the heat they had all opened up and were QUITE accessible! Sue berated me for it when she found out as it was SO dangerous - but she was wrong. I was fine.
6. I purchased a snack vending machine, "the Snack Shack" from the Tender Centre and set it up anonymously at work, collecting an grand margin of about 15 cents per item (at $1.20 per item). Not only did I have to sit by and listen to people whinge about how skanky it looked, and 'all the food is off' (it wasn't even!), and while people demonstrated to me the new ways they had found to pilfer from it (my wife included)- BUT when I went on company business for 2 months to melbourne to live in a warehouse and take one for the team, the TEAM upended my Snack Shack, took the money and dumped the machine in the industrial bin. I never saw it again.
7. It's pronounced "ěr'on", or for those of you not so clever in phonetics as I "Air-on". No, not like the girls name, that's ErIN - which is quite different. No I don't need you to correct me. Because two a's makes an E vowel sound. Yes I know it's not pronounced 'Air-dvark'. I'm sure your friend's name is pronounced AAAAron - but I'm not your friend now, am I?
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8 comments:
hello az, how much does point 7 bug you? not a rhetorical question. my friends are considering whether to call their son jocelyn, which i think is great but everyone else keeps saying "that's a girl's name!" Which it isn't. It's both a male and female name.
For me not that much really - you get to be a bit unique. But if it were spelled Erin, I may have had more trouble standing tall. Heard the Johnny Cash song - A boy named Sue?
Might do him some good.
Remember when people also used to say "Julian?! That's a girl's name".
People are pests, and you have to name your children assuming that people will be pests about it. Or else assuming that their pestishness will help build your child's character. Or get them into fights in the playground.
I would strongly advise your friends against Jocelyn. He'll be grateful.
I would comment on the food points but nausea prevents me.
I agree, Helen. Every time I hear 'Boy Named Sue' I think of Aaron. I had to watch the poor guy carry it through school.. and finally get copped with Errol, just to top it off.
Errol, for a few days I've been grappling with your claim, and I refuse to believe it is humanly possible to eat 5-day-old 40-degree-head oysters and not get sick. I hate to say it, but that has to be a porky.
er, sometimes when I mean 'heat', I write 'head'.
it's a glitch.
...but Michelle, I'm fascinated by what "40-degree-head" oysters might be...
my mind is just reeling from the food ingested! lol and you're still here to tell the tale?!
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